Lady Kat's Bloodsail Beatdown

Lady Kat's Bloodsail Beatdown



Gosh, it’s always so rowdy in here, thought Natasha Ebonlocke as she entered the Salty Sailor Tavern in Booty Bay, looking around. She tugged at the collar of her black shirt with the cracked, red grinning skull of the Cheshire Cats on it, wishing she had on one of her usual dresses instead of these tight, suffocating black pants. It was stifling hot and humid here in Booty Bay, made worse inside, where there was no breeze and all one could smell was the smoke of various herbs being smoked and body odor.

Nat choked slightly, waving some smoke away. Where is she, even? Nat thought next as she weaved through the crowded tavern between busty bar wenches and half-drunk sailors of both genders and all races. Her friend wasn’t at the tables jammed almost together in the corner to the right. She weaved through more bodies, straining to hear a certain voice among the music band playing and the raucous voices of the patrons. She reached the bar next. Her quarry was not here either. Growing worried, knowing she didn’t want to keep her friend waiting too long, she weaved through traffic again, this time making her way to the table for two next to the staircase, then to the one at the bottom of the stairs. No joy.

“MOUSE!”

Nat winced at the angry shout, freezing in place for a moment before looking behind and above her to the second floor, spotting her friend at last. She had brazenly hopped up on the table of two human sailors to yell down to the first floor at Nat, and the two men were looking up at her with a mixture of surprise, anger, and, after a split-second delay, appreciation of what they saw.

Lady Kat, leader of the Cheshire Cats, was illuminated impressively by candles and lanterns atop the table as though she were a performer on a stage. The entire tavern was looking up at the fiery-haired, dark-tanned woman now, and catcalls, whistles, and rather lewd comments were being sent her way by men and women alike – at least, the women who weren’t looking at her in jealousy as though they wanted to rip the skin off her nose. Nat winced again, waiting for Lady Kat’s fire and fury to rain down upon them all for their inappropriateness, but instead, Lady Kat seemed to bask in it all. A look of self-satisfied superiority crossed her face, and she stood up straight, thrusting her chest out, adjusting her heavy breasts inside her white button-up shirt that, rather than button closed, she’d tied together at the bottom, exposing much cleavage as well as her flat, hard abdomen. Her Cheshire Cat cloak, sporting the same colors and crest as Nat’s shirt, billowed behind her. Tight pants shaped her toned lower body in ways Nat could only dream of, and she blushed as Lady Kat began returning comments to her admirers even more lewd than the ones she was receiving. Covering her burning red ears quickly, she headed for the staircase, making her way up.

“It’s about f**king time, Mouse,” chided Lady Kat from the tabletop. She hopped down from the table, spying more men who had been watching the show from behind. “What are ye staring at? Wanna grab a handful or something?”

Nat’s blush deepened at Lady Kat’s antics, and she hoped the men were utterly fixated on Lady Kat and not herself. They were. Breathing a sigh of relief, she immediately found herself fidgeting awkwardly as she waited on Lady Kat to grow bored with her many admirers. It didn’t take long.

“Sit!” ordered Lady Kat suddenly, after the two exchanged salutes, pointing at the other table alongside the edge of the balcony. Nat hastened to obey, noticing Lady Kat was keeping herself right where she could be viewed by as many admirers as possible.

“Erm… S-sorry, L-Lady Kat…” stammered Nat. “I… I didn’t mean to keep you waiting… I-I couldn’t find you, is all…”

Lady Kat turned her amber eyes toward Nat, and they burned into her. “And ye couldn’t be bothered to simply look up, could ye?” she demanded. “Well?! Cards, Mouse!” she demanded next, not waiting for an answer to her question.

“Y-yes, Lady Kat…” Nat dived into her pack, withdrawing the usual sapphire spread-cloth and white leather card case. She looked around. “Erm… n-no privacy this time?”

“Listen around ye, Mouse,” replied Lady Kat with a roll of her eyes. “Can ye hear anyone else’s conversation right now?”

Nat listened around, and had to concede the point. She shook her head no as she listened and failed to clearly make out a single other conversation over the roar of the waterfalls outside, the band playing, and everyone trying to yell over each other. It was pretty noisy.

Lady Kat grinned as Nat proved how right she always was, unceremoniously shoving the table’s wax candle off to one side as Nat set up her spread-cloth with opposing corners facing either woman, giving it the appearance of a diamond shape. She next opened her card case, pulling out her Tarot deck and placing it in the center of the cloth.

“’Ay, lovelies,” a loud nasal voice slurred drunkenly to Nat’s left. “Buy ye a drink?”

“Erm… I… I…” stammered Nat, looking up to see a wiry, thin, balding sailor with patched-up breeches and a baggy white tunic towering over her, leering at them both.

“Got me own,” replied Lady Kat impatiently, not looking at the man, holding up her hip flask in one hand and snapping her fingers impatiently under Nat’s nose with the other.

“R-right,” stammered Nat, blushing as she looked across to Lady Kat, about to ask what she wished to ask of the cards this night.

Before she could speak, however, the sailor standing there suddenly yanked at her hair – hard. Nat squeaked in pain, holding up a hand to her pulled hair as the sailor, apparently not drunk at all, laughed maliciously and hopped right off the balcony, miraculously landing on his feet instead of someone else, weaving through traffic, and darting out the door.

“The fawk?” Lady Kat said, leaning over the table curiously to watch the man dart from the tavern.

Nat, however, was already in tears. “M-my hairpin! The one Celeste gave me! It’s gone! He TOOK it!” she cried, her hand feeling around her head where her hair had been pulled. An uncharacteristic look of anger crossed her face as she pounded the table with her free fist.

The hairpin in question had been a Winter Veil gift from her love, Celeste McCullough. Three inches long, one inch in width, it sported butterflies of various sizes, and their wings were adorned with gemstones in Nat’s favorite colors: dark purple amethysts and deep black diamonds. On the back, an inscription bore the words, “Thanks for the butterflies. – Celeste” It was one of Nat’s most prized possessions, and its sudden loss broke her heart.

“Oh, F**K no!” roared Lady Kat, darting to her feet a second faster than Nat. “Get yer sh*t together and let’s go!”

Nat scooped her deck up as Lady Kat performed the same smooth, cat-like jump to the floor below and started making her way outside. Returning her deck to its case and gathering up her spread-cloth, Nat was already far behind both the thief and her boss. When her items were returned to her pack, she shouldered the straps and ran the few steps to the balcony’s edge. Nat peered way, waaaaay down below her at the sea of people, paling visibly. She turned to jog for the stairs, blushing madly at the comments coming her way regarding her wildly bouncing curves. Ignoring them, Nat dashed down the stairs, making it halfway down before tripping over her two left feet and tumbling the rest of the way down the stairs with a loud squeal and a louder crash. Her face and ears burned as the entire tavern roared with laughter at her, but she didn’t pay them much mind – that hairpin was returning to her head now.

Nat weaved her way through the tavern once more, trying to move as smoothly as the sailor and Lady Kat had, failing utterly. The faster she tried to go, the more she rammed into people. The more she slammed into people, the more she was sworn at and shoved back, until she bumped into a drunk woman at the door who angrily grabbed her by the back of her shirt and shoved her roughly outside into the semi-darkness of Booty Bay’s lantern-lit night. Nat staggered a bit, then turned left, seeing Lady Kat out by the corner of the building, throwing her hands up in consternation at her snail’s-pace underling.

“Do ye want what Celeste gave ye back or not?!” she asked rhetorically, before turning to stride off quickly, looking around for the thief, quickly putting space between her and Nat.

Nat sprinted to catch up – another mistake. She tripped over her two left feet again, sprawling spread-eagle over the boardwalk, faceplanting into the planks and skipping a time or two with a pained squeal as her legs rose up behind her like a scorpion’s tail before falling back down with a loud thud.

“TODAY, Mouse!” Lady Kat snapped from near the edge of the boardwalk, rolling her eyes. “Quit f**king off!”

“Y-yes, Lady Kat…” Nat scrambled to her feet, jogging carefully to reach her boss and looking around with her.

“Ye see what happens when ye take yer sweet time?” Lady Kat pointed out. “He’s gone!”

Nat gasped, looking around with grief. Her hand returned to her now-unadorned head as she stared around Booty Bay’s boardwalks, stroking the oddly empty-feeling spot and sniffling once.

Suddenly, Lady Kat’s hand was grasping her jaw painfully and whipping her face around to the water, pointing at the full moon’s reflection with the other. While Nat had to admit the long streak of pale white across the bay was simply gorgeous, she didn’t understand why it was important to sightsee in this moment. She was about to ask why when she saw it.

A single rowboat was crossing the bright streak along the gently rolling waves, rowed along madly by a tall, thin, balding man.

Lady Kat roared her fury as the boat quickly disappeared from view around the southwest point of the bay, darting behind the ruined fortification with all the junked cannons laying around it. She pulled what looked like a burning ember from her pocket, rubbing it with her thumb, and, with a brilliant flash that illuminated the docks and caused some alarm among those nearest – it was a wooden boardwalk, after all – Lady Kat was suddenly astride her fiery horse.

“Let’s GO, Mouse!” she glared at Nat.

Nat nodded, gazing up to the stars and spying a massive shape blocking out a patch of light high above them. She waved at it, beckoning it down. Seconds later, she was climbing astride Onyx, her massive black Netherdrake with his wispy tendrils floating from the tips of his wings. Together, she and Lady Kat darted into the air, Lady Kat leaning forward on her horse with a terrifying expression on her face, Nat sitting side-saddle as usual and looking determined, tears already gone – two Cheshire Cats were giving chase now. She’d have Celeste’s gift back in no time at all.

Nat and Lady Kat gained the point in no time, flying between the ruined fortification on the left and the ruined statue of the Goblin baron on the right. Banking left, the two whipped around the point, spotting the rowboat up ahead, making for one of the ships of the Bloodsail Buccaneers. They hurtled through the air, the night sky illuminated by the fiery torch that was Lady Kat’s mount as the waves of the open ocean roiled below them, slamming and crashing against the cliff on their left noisily. The salt tang of the sea took over the sickly-sweet smell of fish beginning to spoil as Booty Bay quickly fell behind.

Before long, the tumultuous waves gave way to massive sandbars sporting tents and patrolled by Bloodsail pirates. White sand beaches sprouted palm trees under the light of a hundred thousand stars, joined by twinkling campfires on the sandbars below. The palm fronds waved lazily as they were blown about on the warm night breeze. Ahead, three ships, sporting sails with the vertical black and red stripes of the Bloodsail Buccaneers, were anchored, lights flickering brightly from their windows.

“F**K!” bellowed Lady Kat, startling a few passers by as she glared angrily ahead. The rowboat they were chasing was already being attached to ropes and hoisted aboard the nearest ship. She and Nat reined in their mounts as Lady Kat beckoned at Nat to follow her left toward the cliffs. Landing in the cover of the undergrowth before dismissing her fiery steed, she motioned for Nat to stay put on Onyx. Nat gave a bewildered look to Lady Kat as she clambered up onto Onyx’s back herself, snatching the reins out of Nat’s hand.

“What?” Lady Kat asked. “Ye want me to fly in on a torch and announce to their entire f**king gang that we be coming?”

Nat shook her head quickly. “N-no… erm… y-you’re right… Onyx is really dark…”

“Of course I’m right,” smirked Lady Kat.

Nat gave a reassuring pat to Onyx’s flank, letting him know this was okay, and, seconds later, the pair were airborne again, soaring over the Bloodsail encampments strewn about the sandbars.

The two alighted on a small sandbar with a trio of palm trees that almost seemed to grow from one single trunk. Lady Kat shoved Nat off Onyx’s back, an easy move, as Nat was still seated side-saddle. Nat stifled a squeak, landing in the soft sand on all fours as Lady Kat landed on her feet noiselessly beside her a fraction of a second later. Nat waved Onyx back to the skies, and the two peered ahead at the next sandbar from behind the palm trees.

The nearest Bloodsail ship, the one that had hoisted the thief’s rowboat aboard, was docked at that sandbar, along with another across it. Lady Kat hissed quietly as she glared at two ships full of armed pirates.

“Wh-what’s the plan?” Nat whispered.

“Let me think,” rasped Lady Kat.

Nat nodded quickly, falling silent. She watched her mentor closely, noting how her eyes flitted from ship to ship, noting her lips moving, mouthing numbers as she counted the crew visible on each, studying their positions, their movement. Anxiously, she looked from Lady Kat to the ships, back and forth a few times, noting a sly smirk suddenly crossing her boss’s face.

“Right,” whispered Lady Kat, turning to Nat and suddenly looking stern. “Remember, this be right near me home. I don’t want no association with yer sh*tstain minions, ye hear me?”

Nat nodded quickly.

“Now, listen,” Lady Kat continued on. “There be a lot of pirates, but I can take them, with the right plan. But, ye ain’t worth a rat’s *ss in a fight without yer minions, and I can’t take them on and protect you at the same time, so here’s what we’re gonna do. Ye listening, Mouse?”

Nat nodded quickly.

“These pirates look half-drunk fer the night already,” Lady Kat pointed out. “Note how they be staggering around and sh*t. They’re dumb bastards, all of them, and we can just waltz right on in there like we wanna join up, see? That gets us aboard the ship. Ye don’t have to worry, either; they’ll be staring at me boobs and not at yer lard *ss. I’ll work me charm, wiggle me body, and have them eating out of the palm of me hand. Before ye know it, we’ll have yer thief cornered, beat his *ss, and skip on out of here from the poop deck on yer drake before anyone knows what’s up. As long as you don’t f**k it all up, Mouse, it’ll be in and out.”

Nat blushed throughout the explanation of the plan, not even wanting to ask what a poop deck was. She nodded quickly.

“Right, then, let’s go,” Lady Kat ordered.

Nat followed Lady Kat out from behind the palm trees, gulping nervously as she noted the small gap between their sandbar and the next. She hoped she didn’t get knocked down by a wave as the two waded across, the warm seawater soaking their legs up to their knees. Their wet footsteps squished into the dry sand as they crossed the sandbar.

Lady Kat sauntered up to the nearest pirate, looking cocky, smirking as she watched the man’s eyes immediately dart to her ample cleavage. She thrust out her chest and put a hand on a hip, regarding him with a grin.

“Ahoy, f**ker,” she said to the man whose eyes never looked up into her own, fixated as he was southward. “We’re here to join yer little band of pirates. Be a good boy and point us to yer head swashbuckler.”

“Ye ‘ave t’ talk t’ th’ firs’ mate,” slurred the already-smitten man. “’E’s up in th’ ship ‘ere. Ye gotta prove yerself firs’, an’ show ye can be good swabbies. Gotta swab th’ deck good, aye? I’ll show ye lasses up.”

Lady Kat’s smirk faltered for the barest fraction of a second, a look of disgust crossing her face. Looking unimpressed by the man’s explanation, she grabbed the back of the collar of Nat’s shirt, dragging her along as she followed the tipsy man toward the deck casually. Pulling Nat close, she whispered to her.

“Ye hear that, Mouse?” she hissed. “All ye gotta do is scrub their dumb boat to prove yourself. No wonder they be sailing around with a bunch of jack*sses! They’ll let anyone in!” She grinned wickedly at Nat as she shoved her back out to arm’s reach.

Moments later, they were aboard the ship slightly rocking ship, making their way up to the high deck in the aft area of the ship, which, Nat gathered from the pirates’ chatter, must be the poop deck. The helm of the ship was located here, from which the helmsman steered the ship with the enormous wheel located here.

Far more prominent here was a massive, hulking, barrel-chested Tauren wearing a mostly-opened red button-up shirt, exposing russet fur beneath. The Tauren turned slow, thoughtful eyes to his approaching subordinate and the incoming pair of human women, a questioning look on his face as he peered out from below his wide black first mate’s hat with skull and crossbones. Nat eyed the two-handed axe that the Tauren bore in just one meaty, furry fist, feeling anxious, but doing her best to appear stoic. Lady Kat, however, strutted right up to the Tauren, cocking a hip and putting one hand on it. She smirked up at him as Nat did her best to hide behind her boss, and the Tauren took in the view of the two women with an unreadable expression before turning to the tipsy sailor as he explained that they wanted to join up.

As the man said, the two were given buckets and rags and sent to the starboard side of the deck to swab. Nat carried hers down the stairs from the poop deck, not knowing which side was starboard, but followed Lady Kat as she proceeded to the right side of the deck, trusting her to know everything. She always did.

“Erm… how long are we gonna scrub for?” asked Nat, looking around anxiously at the others who were leering at them.

“Ye kidding me right now?” asked Lady Kat incredulously. “I ain’t swabbing sh*t!”

Nat looked quickly at Lady Kat, who, as soon as the Tauren was looking the other way, unceremoniously dropped her bucket and rag, beckoning Nat into the cabin of the ship. Nat followed, turning immediately down a flight of stairs, just as Lady Kat was doing ahead of her.

“Now, just act casual,” instructed Lady Kat. “Follow me, walk around like ye belong here, and no one will question ye being aboard.”

Nat nodded quickly. She walked through the door to the right at the bottom of the stairs, passing between the ship’s cannons on either side, looking around from pirate to pirate as Lady Kat was doing, not seeing their quarry. They reached the fore section of the gun deck, and another staircase. Their footsteps thunked down the planks of the stairs, and the next deck proved to be the bunks. Some sailors were snoozing, some chatting quietly, and one stared with a grin at a book he was holding sideways. Nat cast a curious glance as she passed, noting a Quel’dorei woman, scantily clad, lying on her back with her legs crossed in the air, blood-red high-heels pointing upward as the woman seemed to stare at the viewer with pale blue eyes, her arms crossed behind her brilliantly blonde head. Nat blushed, wishing she hadn’t looked, and continued looking around for the thief as she subconsciously balanced herself on the gently swaying ship.

Once again, she suddenly felt a vise grip on her jaw. One again, she felt her face whipped around to look in a specific direction. Nat looked in the direction Lady Kat was pointing. There, at the back of the room, facing into a corner and staring at something in his hands, was the thief.

Lady Kat dragged Nat forward by the jaw, sauntering right up to the thief. She released Nat, reaching out to thrice tap the man roughly on the shoulder with enough force to leave a bruise.

The balding thief whipped around, an irked expression on his face. Spying the two women, he darted to his feet, looking alarmed, but he next leered down at the two from his towering height, eyeing Nat specifically as he pointedly pocketed her hairpin.

“I dunno ‘ow ye lovelies got aboard,” he drawled, “an’ I don’t care. Ye ain’t gittin’ it back.”

Nat grew angry at that, giving the man an uncharacteristic glare. “Oh, yes we are. That’s precious to me.”

The man leered back at her, patting the pocket the hairpin was in. “It’s precious t’ me, too, lady. This ‘ere’ll feed me fer months.”

Lady Kat hissed, wasting no more time. Off came the kid gloves, exposing her terrifying "Hand of Death" tattoo, with the ink that artistically depicted skin peeled away and flesh and bone exposed underneath. She reached that hand back, seemingly clear to the front of the ship, clenching her fist and swinging it forward. By the time it crossed the mast in the center of the room (or so Nat imagined), it had a lot of power behind it. Nat gasped as a sickening squish resounded throughout the bunks – Lady Kat had punched the thief right in the throat!

An uproar immediately followed. Men and women of the Bloodsail Buccaneers converged on the three as the man choked and gasped for air. Lady Kat dove forward, retrieving the hairpin from the man’s pocket and depositing the the dark jewelry into her own pocket. She whirled around, shoving Nat behind her with one hand and kicking out with her right foot at a long-haired, somewhat overweight man’s soggy midsection. The man’s eyes bulged as the air rushed noisily out of him, and he sank to the floor with his arms around his belly, rolling around and wheezing.

Lady Kat’s curses filled the air after that, joining those of the Bloodsail crew’s as the riot started in earnest. Nat gasped at the perfect tapestry of ear-scorching insults and incredibly profane, angry exultations Lady Kat artistically wove, blushing madly and watching as her feet and fists alike swung out with sickening crunches that broke ribs and shattered faces. She gasped as Lady Kat grabbed one woman by the hair and bounced her face off the wall. Looking around, she spied a heavy cast-iron skillet hanging on a peg. She grabbed it, feeling quite inspired, and leaped into the fray.

“For the Cheshire Cats! For Lady Kat! FOR CELESTE!” she squeaked, wading into the melee and laying about right, left, and center with the heavy pan. Her first swing made her gasp loudly as it cracked off the side of a short, burly man’s head, dropping him like like a sack of potatoes.

“Ohmigosh! Sorry!” she squeaked, drawing an irked, incredulous glance from Lady Kat. She blushed yet again, then the spirit of battle really took hold of her.

Nat swung her skillet haphazardly in every direction, connecting with heads and knees and bellies of the men and women attacking them, though she missed more often than she struck, having never been a fighter.

Lady Kat accomplished far more, casting pirates right and left with kicks and jabs, roundhouses and uppercuts, twisting and spinning and darting gracefully as she unleashed her towering fury upon those nowhere near as skilled in a fight as she. It was almost unfair, but for the numbers that continued to pour below deck at them.

“Let’s go, Mouse!” she bellowed, fighting her way back to the staircase, aiming and connecting on another nauseating-looking throat punch, her clenched fists red with blood. “We gotta get outta here before we’re overwhelmed!”

Nat did her best to follow, still missing more than connecting with her cast-iron skillet. She stayed close to Lady Kat, making a point of not getting separated from her, watching her back, flooring anyone who rose again from behind with crushing blows from the skillet. Together, the two Cats fought up the staircase, plowing through pirates between the cannons as they went. They gained the staircase aft, turning through the doorway to fight their way upward once more. At the top, they emerged into fresh air – but then Nat stopped, almost slamming into Lady Kat’s back, who had frozen in place just outside.

Nat peered around her. The first mate was there, gripping his axe in both hands. The ship’s captain was next to him, glaring with his little green Goblin face up at the two with his hands on his hips. Flanking the ships top two officers were a pair of burly sailors with pistols leveled at each of their hearts.

Silence took charge next, broken only by the break of the waves against the ships hull, rocking the anchored ship gently.

The Goblin broke the silence first.

“Sooo….” he croaked. “Sooo… SOOOOO….”

“So what?” smirked Lady Kat.

The Goblin captain was not impressed by the fiery redhead’s flagrant cheek. “SOOO, you think you tramps can board my ship and just start a brawl?”

“Aye,” answered Lady Kat with a nod, still smirking. “Something like that.”

“Just who do you think you are?!” demanded the Goblin, flabbergasted.

Lady Kat struck a self-important pose at that, standing up straight, thrusting out her chest, cocking her hips, and placing her hands upon them. She stuck her nose in the air a bit, looking straight down it at the Goblin, her smirk still fixed in place.

“I be Lady Kat!” she announced proudly, emphasizing her title heavily. “I lead the Cheshire Cats gang, and I be coming to take back what one of yer gang took from one of mine.”

Nat gazed anxiously at the Tauren, brandishing his huge axe, and the two sailors with the guns, still leveled at each of their hearts. She was utterly awestruck that Lady Kat could continue her prideful demeanor under such a circumstance, though it also worried her. She knew they were close to being completely decapitated or roundly perforated. She turned her anxious gaze toward the four in front of them, then back up to the back of her boss’s head again.

Then, without warning, Lady Kat glared at the two gunmen.

“Revola!” she hissed at them in Demonic. Two two men instantly screamed in terror, their eyes wide, throwing their pistols away and diving off either side of the ship. Lady Kat turned her gaze back toward the captain and his first mate, smirking again.

The Goblin took a small step backward, eyeing the sides of the ship where the two sailors with guns had bailed out and were still screaming in terror somewhere out of sight, splashing around in the water. He looked warily back up at the fiery woman before him, the gears in his head clearly turning as his greedy eyes feasted on the pair of human women before him. The Tauren remained stoic, wielding his axe and holding his ground.

“Don’t think I don’t know what happened,” croaked the ship’s little captain. “I already knew about that pretty bit of jewelry with the gems. If you can afford things like that, you can afford to split profits. You make sure you contact me if you ever need a ship and a crew to do something illicit. For now, you’re free to go.”

The Tauren cast a bewildered look at his captain, lowering his axe as the Goblin motioned for him to do so. The Goblin, meanwhile, was clearly trying to hide his fright, and he was not doing a particularly good job of it. It was clear he had said what he did for no other reason than to save face as he let his ship’s assailants go free, though the potential of making more gold also factored in. He motioned off the ship sharply, pointing back toward Booty Bay.

Lady Kat cackled maniacally at the Goblin’s obvious fear, strutting past him with a wink for he and his first mate. Motioning for Nat to follow, she again pulled the burning ember gem from her pocket, earning a sharp, greedy hiss from the Goblin, rubbing it with her thumb and mounting up on the fiery horse that appeared.

Nat followed as beckoned, waving Onyx down once more, and mounting up sidesaddle. Lady Kat cackled again as the Goblin and Tauren staggered backwards out of the way, looking awestruck at the fiery warhorse and massive Netherdrake that had just clattered to the middle of the deck.

Without further adieu, Lady Kat guided her mount into the air, Nat soaring right behind her. The two flew over camps of awestruck Bloodsail Buccaneers, over the palm tree-capped cliffs, and streaked back toward the front porch of Lady Kat’s home on an upper terrace of Booty Bay's boardwalks. Landing with a clatter, Lady Kat dismounted at her front door, turning to face Nat as Nat slid off Onyx’s back, once again waving him free.

“Mouse,” Lady Kat began, regarding Nat with a level gaze. “I want ye to think twice about flaunting f**kin’ gemstones on yer fat head before ye walk into a tavern full of sloshed pirates again, ye hear me?”

“Y-yes, L-Lady Kat,” blushed Nat furiously.

Lady Kat watched Nat coolly for a moment, letting her squirm, letting the message sink in. She reached into her pocket next, producing Nat’s beloved gift, holding it out to her.

“Now,” Lady Kat said. “About them cards. I still want me reading, so y— ACK! THE F*CK?!”

Lady Kat staggered backward as Nat pocketed her hairpin and launched herself forward tearfully, throwing her arms around Lady Kat’s neck and sobbing out her thanks. Lady Kat had her arms raised, hands outstretched away from Nat, looking like she’d just been attacked by a human-sized garden slug. Disgusted, she reached one hand forward, arm arched over Nat so as to touch as little of her as possible, and grabbed her by the hair, peeling her off and wrenching her back to arm’s length as Nat squeaked a bit in startled pain. Annoyed, she deadpanned at Nat, then pointedly saluted her, clearly indicating what should have been done in that instance.

Nat blushed furiously, attempting to compose herself, and half succeeding. She saluted back.

“Ohmigosh,” she sputtered out. “S-sorry… erm… I… Oh, wow, that was all just so… so… soooo… so COOL… Th-thanks, L-Lady Kat, for helping me get it back! We found the guy, just like you said! Your plan worked!”

“Aye,” nodded Lady Kat, striking her proudest pose yet, basking in the admiration with her head held high, her hands on her hips. “Of course it did. I be perfect.”

[۞ KAT ۞ AKA Red Viper]

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